Once more it has been quite some time since I last wrote something here. Not because I haven’t had anything to say, and even less because nothing has happened… Quite to the contrary, at the moment I’m finding motherhood to be quite like a rollercoaster ride: incessant, relentless, with some quieter moments which lull you into calm only to be able to throw you upside down with even greater force right after… I never expected being a mummy of two to be easy, but I would be lying if I said that I was prepared for how overwhelming it feels at times. When things go at such a fast pace, it is very hard, almost impossible, to sit down and think, let alone write about it!

And yet, write I feel I must. I’d been feeling for a while that I was really missing my blog, and worrying that I was letting good writing opportunities pass me by (when I say ‘good’ here, I’m referring to things that are memorable, that I would want to commit to memory, and memory is at a premium these days, seeing that baby brain has pretty much torn it to pieces…). And the day before yesterday, something happened: as I was getting ready to go to sleep at night, I was musing about my ‘mummy-blogging’ and feeling wistful about having put my writing on the back burner once again. So I prayed, and asked  God to give me the inspiration and the will to take it up again.

What happened the next morning was entirely unexpected. As I do most mornings, as soon as I woke up, I picked up my phone to check my emails (it wouldn’t be unfair to call me a little bit of an addict…).  And the first first email I found when was one telling me that a friend tagged me on Facebook with just these words: ‘What about Woods of White?’ I was flabbergasted. I am still learning to listen to God’s voice, and I can imagine that skeptical responder might object that this is mere coincidence… It wouldn’t be the first time that someone told me that my view of theology is skewed, and that surely God can’t bother with the little things (To that, I would respond that surely ‘big’ and ‘little’ things are one and the same to God, since he is outside or beyond space and time, so it is unlikely that he uses our scale to assess the magnitude or importance of things). As far as I am concerned, if ever there was a sign, an answer to prayer, a moment of being called by name, I believe this was one!

I felt that this deserved a post all of its own. The little Facebook tag (for which I am so grateful) was just what I needed to kick me back into action. I feel I have learned so much over the last while, and I have so many things that I want to put into writing and, perhaps, share with others who might be interested in reading them. So here I am… I’m back to mummy-blogging, so watch this space…!

I have had many conversations recently with other mothers, both first time mothers and mothers of more than one child, and I find it striking how similar our concerns, worries and experiences seem to be. I said in a previous post (link here) that I thought a lot more could be said about mothers’ instinct when it comes to one’s own child, so here are a few more thoughts…

Continue reading “Mothers know best” →

Today I had a fairly heated discussion with someone quite dear to me and whom, perhaps until this disagreement today, I respected greatly. The topic is a very seasonal one: Halloween, or more specifically, a party which the mums in the Girl’s class have decided to organise for our daughters. The way we see it, it will be an occasion for the girls to be together, get dressed up (what little girl doesn’t like to dress up?!?), have a little bit of party food, run around, and generally get themselves nicely tired so that we can all enjoy a peaceful evening afterwards. Halloween is only a pretext, and given that this is a dress-up holiday par excellence, and that it falls during the half term, it seemed a no brainer to us. After all, this is just a bunch of four year-olds who deserve to have a bit of fun, given how many hours they now spend in school each day, and how much they are made to work during term time.

Unfortunately, some people in our church take a very radical view to Halloween, associating it with all manner of things evil, darkness, witchcraft and danger, and vociferate against it as if this were one of the most pernicious ills of our world. Our innocent children’s party is tarred with the same brush and seen to fall in the same category. I find an accusation like this almost too outrageous to deserve a response, and yet, because I am a Christian, and because I find this radical form of belief hugely off-putting, and precisely the kind of hard-headedness that I used to loathe about Christianity before I turned to it, I feel I need to address it openly. Continue reading “Why I will let my daughter go to a Halloween party” →

Recently, I have made several new friends, mums of little babies the same age and smaller than the Boy. I am very happy about this, because I want the Boy to grow up having his own group of friends, I want him to be his own person, and not always be in his big sister’s limelight (wonderful as his big sister is…). Most of these new friends are first time mothers, and I am reminded so much of the time when the Girl was a little baby and I was going through very much the same struggles as they are.

Ultimately, we all go through the same struggles, the same joys and excitements, the same moments of wanting to tear our hair out (‘Why won’t you stop crying?!? Why can’t you just go to sleep?!? Why won’t you eat?!? What ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?) – and, through it all, I am sure of it, we all experience the same all-encompassing love that makes our whole person shatter from within and be made anew again and again.  Life changes dramatically when you have a baby, your whole being is transformed, from woman you become mother, your priorities move to this little person who is outside yourself, yet feels so much a part of you, so connected to the innermost parts of your very being.

But, if I am really honest, life changes yet again once you become a mother for a second time (and, I should imagine, exponentially so the third, the fourth, or the however many, though this is certainly not something I am looking to try out for myself!). Soon after the Boy was born, I came to realise just how unfair life is:  in order to enjoy motherhood fully and without gut-wrenching worry at every little thing, you need to have gone through it once and have a second child… but the trouble is, then you HAVE A SECOND CHILD, and that adds a whole new dimension to it all.

Here are a few things I have learned from being a second time mother and of which I try to remind myself, in the darkest moments of doubt and stress:

Continue reading “What I have learned from being a second time mum” →